on my own, here we go…

its been a minute since my last blog…I’m sorry, for those who read this regularly…if anyone reads this regularly! lol

First of all, let me say…Hooray for Pandora radio!  Get in the effing way back machine!  I just heard “Children” by Robert Miles…LONG time since I’ve heard that one!  Now I’m chillin to Massive Attack! Woot!
So.  Here I sit…in my very first, very OWN apartment!  I’ve been here for almost one full week now.  Its taking a little time to adjust, because I’m used to being home with people, even when I go home by myself, I know that my roomies were going to be home eventually.  Here, its just me…and I have to get used to being by myself…its rough!  I’m lonely.  But I know that this is good for me.

The other night, on the Solstice, I burned some things in an effort to dispell and bury the negative feelings associated with them.  For the most part, I’ve felt better.  I did have a rough day today though…I’m still transitioning, and working through a lot of negativity, and breaking baa habits…today was tough.  But I made it through.  Now I’m home, chillin out on the computer for a little while before relaxing with a big bowl of popcorn and a couple of movies.

the holidays have me in a little bit of a mood too…I always tend to become sad around christmas because I miss my GrinGran so much…plus, being out just trying to do normal every day shopping is a TERRIBLE chore…so many people in pissy moods…they rush, and they’re angry, and they cut people off in the parking lots…I always thought that the holiday season was supposed to bring about a little more tolerance, and peace…but no…its the opposite…and its annoying! lol.  I try so hard to be nice to people in stores, but I had the worst experience at Fry’s yesterday…2 employees were standing there chatting, and I walked up and said “excuse me,” paused, and the girl looked at me like “how dare you interrupt me”…the guy never even looked at me, and they just carried on flirting with each other.  I took an additional step in and said…”I hate to interrupt your personal conversation, but I need a little help here.”   i mean, come on!  you’re working in a busy store, where people need help!  Oy.

Anyway…I don’t have to worry about it much more.  the holiday season is ALMOST over. 🙂

I’m getting ready to have another minor outpatient surgery done on the 6th, and then my bigger one will probably be at the end of February.  Hooray.  Then all these issues can go to hell and die. 😉  I can’t wait to be healthy again!  (she says, while shoveling her face full of tuna salad. lol)

Anyway.  I’m feeling a little better, and getting settled…hooray for new beginnings!

I hope everyone has a blessed holiday, whatever it is that you celebrate. 🙂

good night.

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