2 weeks and 4 days

that is when i will be having my surgery.
this is a good thing.

i went in to my urologist’s office today to have my stent removed, and dr. lesani said that we aren’t taking it out.

he told me that he presented my case to 2 of his colleagues, as i am kind of a special case. (i’ve always thought so!) he said that they agree that if he removed the stent today and sent me for a renal scan in 3 months, that we would just continue to see the blockage.  they all agree that i should just have the defect corrected as soon as possible to avoid losing kidney function.

so.  on february 7, at 10:00am, i will be at summerlin hospital for my laporoscopic/robotic surgery.  i’ll be in overnight, and i’ll be out of work for a week.  that’s going to be fun to set up…i have to talk to my boss tomorrow to figure out how i’m going to work this…i’d really rather not use vacation time for surgery, but i need to get paid…short term disability doesn’t pay the full amount i’d get for working…so…hooray.
i’m feeling good, but overwhelmed.  i’m really glad that i’m going to be getting this taken care of, but a little nervous.  i’m very confident in dr. lesani.

so…the step in getting me healthy is taking a little longer than i’d hoped, but…at least after this is over and i’ve recovered, i can get on with my life.

this is a good thing.

*deep breath*

i need chocolate.


Encouragement from an old magazine article

In my unpacking and organizing that I’ve been doing over the last few days, I found a page that I ripped out of a magazine, probably a year or two ago.  It has lots of awesome little sayings that I find very relevant and encouraging:

*Drink fresh water and as much water as you can.  Water flushes unwanted toxins from your body and keeps your brain sharp.


*Creativity is maximized when you’re living in the moment.

* A daily hit of athletic-induced endorphins gives you the power to make better decisions, helps you be at peace with yourself, and offsets stress.

*Do one thing a day that scares you.

*Listen, listen, listen and then ask strategic questions.

*Write down your short and long-term goals four times a year.  Two personal, two business and two health goals for the next 1, 5, and 10 years.  Goal setting triggers yo9ur subconscious computer.

*Practice yoga so you can remain active in physical sports as you age.

*Observe a plant before and after watering, and relate these benefits to your body and brain.

*Visualize your eventual demise.  It can have an amazing effect on how you life for the moment.

*Life is full of setbacks.  Success is determined by how you handle setbacks.

*Your outlook on life is a direct reflection of how much you life yourself.

*What we do to the earth we do to ourselves.

*The world is changing at such a rapid rate that waiting to implement changes will leave you 2 steps behind: do it now, do it now, do it now!

*Friends are more important than money

*Breathe Deeply and appreciate the moment.  Living in the moment could be the meaning of life.

*That which matters the most should never give way to that which matters the least.

*Stress is related to 99% of all illness.

*Jealousy works the opposite way you want it to.

* Take various vitamins.  You never know what small mineral can eliminate the bottleneck to everlasting health.

*The conscious brain can only hold one thought at a time.  Choose a positive thought.

* Live near the ocean and inhale the pure salt air that flows over the water, Vancouver will do nicely.

*Communication is complicated.

* We are all raised in a different family with slightly different definitions of every word.  An Agreement is an agreement only if each party knows the conditions for satisfaction and a time is set for satisfaction to occur.

*Don’t trust that an old age pension will be sufficient.

*Sweat once a day to regenerate your skin.

*Children are the orgasm of life: Just like you did not know what an orgasm was before you had one, nature does not let you know how great children are until you have them.

*Nature wants us to be mediocre because we have a greater chance to survive and reproduce.  Mediocrity is as close to the bottom as it is to the top, and will give you a lousy life.

*Do not use cleaning chemicals on your kitchen counters or floors.  Someone will inevitably make a sandwich on your counter.

*Successful people replace the words “wish” “should” and “try” with “I WILL.”

Some of these don’t make much sense, but some of them do, and I like some of them a lot.


I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about the power of positivity, and the power of the mind…how in one single moment we can change our minds and do something that we never thought really possible.

take me, for example.  I’ve been struggling with depression ever since I was 15 years old.  And just a couple of weeks ago, I decided “That’s it.  No more gloom and doom.”  and I’ve been feeling amazing ever since.  Yeah, I have moments. I cried a little today.  But I didn’t dwell on it.  that’s the difference right there.  I made the choice not to dwell.

Now take my best friend back home…he’s always been the one telling me to stay positive, keep smiling, and so on…but I found out that just a couple of weeks ago, he tried to take his own life by slitting his wrists.  All because of circumstances that he “couldn’t” deal with any more…it blows my mind how much power there is in a thought.

When I was going to church, I read a book called “The battlefield of the mind.”  Great book.  It talked about our inner conflict with our thoughts.  The Bible teaches us “Such as a man thinks in his heart, so is he.”  There are many other similar ways of phrasing this in other religions and doctrines and belief systems…I was told once that my thoughts have the power to manifest.  And they do.

So…for now…I’m thinking positively for myself and all of those who I love.  Sending a little more light to Jake, so that he might find his way back from the darkness. Sending out love to all those who constantly supply me with love and light when I need it…whether I ask or not.

I hope that none of you get tired of the positive me… 😉  Because I’m liking her WAY more than negative me.

I should go to bed.  I have class to teach in the morning, and its going to be a great class.

Good night all.  Love….

power of positive thinking…

I had a lovely visit with Debra. I ♥ you girl!! It makes me feel so happy that what I’ve envisioned for my apartment is happening: its becoming a sanctuary for me, and a comfortable space for others. I can provide the love and support that I have to offer to others in this space, and then when they leave, I can provide it to myself…I am loving 2011.

I had a couple passing moments of negativity earlier today, but I’ve let them go. I think part of it is just because I’m loopy from the drugs today, and I’m also premenstrual, but I didn’t dwell like I always do. I’m too content to allow small things to ruin my feeling.

I’m really loving this feeling.  So now I have to share my really great news with you all:

This starts with a preface:  About a month and a half ago, I went to a Tarot reader.  (those of you who want to say bad or demeaning things about Tarot and Astrology, please save it.  These are things that are a part of my life, that I find comfort and guidance in.  Thank you for respecting my beliefs.)  Among other things, when we were talking about my health, she had told me that kidney problems usually stem from bottled up feelings of anger, resentment, hurt, and so on, and she gave me an assignment to write down all of the feelings of those types that I could dig up from the time I was 7.  (a number that was repeated several times during the reading.)  She then told me on the Solstice to burn the paper, and to bury all of those negative emotions in the earth.  She said that if I did this, and if I truly let go, that my recovery would be much faster, and in fact, that when they did the surgery they would find out that it “was not as bad as they originally thought.”

So I did.

And as many of you who follow me on facebook have noticed, minus a brief rough patch yesterday, I’ve been doing fairly well at maintaining a positive outlook, and not dwelling on negativity.

So I had my first procedure today, before the laparoscopic procedure.

After the procedure, which took 30 minutes, and I was only in recovery for 1 hour…Dr. Lesani came back to talk to me.  He showed me pictures of my ureter, and said that while it is narrow, it is still very open, and he sees no reason to rush into the other surgery.  He said:  “ITS NOT AS BAD AS WE HAD ORIGINALLY THOUGHT.”

I cried.

Thank you Universe.  and more so…thank you Strong Mina…the one who’s been showing her face more and more lately.  Thanks, self…for allowing her to show you how strong you really can be.  Thanks self, for having the determination to stay positive and to get healthy.

I’m exhausted, its been a rather long day.  I promise to be gentler with myself tomorrow, no carrying boxes or anything heavy.  I am going to unpack a little more though. 🙂  I have a party to get ready for next weekend! lol.

I want to take this opportunity to say another thank you to ALL of my friends.  You all have shown me such tremendous support…I thank you for your encouragement yesterday, telling me that I’m strong enough to get through the negativity…for all of your well wishes, prayers and positive thoughts for today…at the risk of sounding like an uber religious nut (like I used to be!)…I thank god (or goddess, or the universe…I haven’t really made my mind up on that yet) for each of you…I am so unbelievably blessed to have each of you in my life…and i hope you know that I think of you often, and send each of you love.  I am always available to help in whatever capacity I can…

much love and light…




“The path to emotional freedom is the hero’s journey; every choice you make to triumph over negativity, large or small, is about transforming energy. The potent nature of such ongoing transformation makes you stronger, brighter and more resilient, which in turn acts to illuminate the world.”

This is a tidbit from my new calendar, “Emotional Freedom” by Judith Orloff.

I like this.

Its been a really great few days…and things just got better.  I can’t announce what yet, but you can bet that I will be shouting my good news from the rooftops soon.

No, I’m not pregnant. lol.


**hugs, love, and healing light to all**