Fail: 1. To fall short of success or achievement in something expected, attempted, desired or approved. 2. To be or become deficient or lacking; be insufficient or absent; fall short. 3. To dwindle, pass, or die away. 4. To lose strength or vigor; become weak.
Such a negative word to be on my mind after such a phenomenal weekend. “Fail.” “Failure.”
Is failure really such a negative thing though? If you stop and think about it, what options do you have when you fail? You can give up, or you can try again.
Up until recently, the option that I would have picked was give up. I would utter those two words I was so fond of “I’m done” and just give up. What’s the point in trying again? Seriously, especially if its something that you’ve failed at over and over again…if you’re just going to fail again, why bother?
The problem with that thought pattern, however, is that it very quickly becomes a downward spiral. Soon, you are failing at seemingly everything you try, and then, what becomes the point of even living? So you give up. You give up trying, you give up hoping…and when that happens, most people end up trying something really foolish and stupid.
Not this girl.
This girl saw the pattern beginning. I saw myself “failing at everything I tried.” But the problem wasn’t that I was really failing. I wasn’t really trying. Even more to the point, I wasn’t “doing.” Yoda’s famous words are so very true: “Do or do not. There is no try.”
You either make things better, or you don’t. You either communicate, or you don’t. You either change or you don’t.
Does this mean that when you realize that you’re not “doing,” that you suddenly succeed at everyting you attempt? Of course not. Sometimes you continue to fail. It doesn’t mean that you need to stop “doing” or “trying.” You just have to do something different. If you want different results, you can’t continue to do the same thing over and over again…that would be the definition of insanity, folks.
And so, on this lovely Monday morning…I have failed. I have failed in an effort to communicate, and in an effort to control my emotional side.
But I’m not giving up.
What I realized is that the assumptions that I made were incorrect. Therefore, I will not be making them again. Not in the way that I did anyway. I will make more informed decisions, but not assumptions.
If I give up, then what is the point?
Its in the trying again, the doing something different to get the desired result…THAT is where life happens!
And so, I have accepted my failure today. I have allowed myself a few moments to wallow in the defeat. And I am moving on.
Back when I was a church-goer, my old youth pastor used to say “If you’re going to fail, fail forward.” Sound advice. Go ahead and fail. But learn from it. Learn from it, and don’t go back.
And whatever you do, don’t give up.