Are we dreaming there are better days to come?

I’ve been living in my new home for 2 weeks now, and loving every minute of it.

I’ve really looked at this move as a brand new start for me, and so far, I’m pretty pleased with my progress.
Do I still have moments?  Of course.  Do I still freak out and stress out for little to no reason?  Of course.  (Yesterday morning, in fact.)

The difference being…over the last 2 weeks, I’ve stopped dwelling.  I’ve made decisions that allow me to right the situation, or move on. 

I have a cold.  Today at work, I was walking to the lunch room, and an acquaintance of mine waved at me and asked if I was ok.  I said I have a little cold.  He said that I looked down, compared to the last couple of weeks. 

That astounded me.  Is the change THAT noticeable?  I mean…I know it is for me.  I certainly feel happier.  I wonder if some of it is circumstantial, but I don’t believe that it is.  Take today for example…I feel awful today, physically.  I coughed so hard today I pinched a nerve in my back.  My throat hurts, and I’m exhausted. 
But I’m in a great mood.  I’m not going to let a little thing like feeling ill get me down.  Not today, anyway.

I’m so grateful that I finally seem to have grasped the concept that I talk about wanting to achieve all the time…could it be…a balance?

I’m sure its not a perfect one, and I know it never will be a perfect one. 

I have my days.  We all do.  But the good news is (lately, at least) that when I have my moods, I don’t dwell for days, weeks…etc.  I might dwell, yes…I might be sad for a few minutes or even a few hours.  But I’m no longer going to allow other people’s moods, thoughts, reactions, perceptions etc dictate how I feel about myself.  I’m no longer going to let my OWN negativity dictate how I feel about myself.   My life is FAR too good to be negative. 

This weekend was a whirlwind of activity and emotion.  Highs, and sharp drops to the bottom…one point where I felt so lost and confused, I was literally laying limp in my bed.  But it didn’t last.  I allowed myself to cry to a friend, and was comforted.  And I let go of the bad that I felt, and embraced everything else…the good.  The love.  The comfort.  The support. The highs were incredible.  Indescribable, in fact.  Moments of bliss, moments of laughter so hard I had trouble catching my breath…moments of compassion…moments when I felt like I was doing something really amazing for other people…

I love my life right now.

I really do. And the best part is…the only thing that has changed in any dramatic way is my mindset.  My DECISION to make every day a good one.  My DECISION to look at the great things in my life, and say “fuck off” to the negative things.  My DECISION to have a different outlook on situations.  

You know how most people can post something and say “I love my life” and its only because something really incredible has happened, but as soon as the smallest negative thing happens, they’re all “FML” and “I hate my life.”  Come on, I know you know…I used to be one of them!

Well guess what kids…something incredible HAS happened. To me, to you…to EVERYONE who is reading this…are you ready to know what it is?

You woke up.

You were given another day to make a difference in your life, and the life of those around you.  You were given an opportunity to appreciate the beauty in the world.  An opportunity to express your feelings to the one you love.  An opportunity to laugh with friends.  An opportunity to help someone. 

LIFE is something incredible. 

wow, I sound like an inspirational infomercial or something. 

But its how I feel.  I’m so…content!  I don’t want to say “happy” because that implies something different from what I’m feeling now.  I’m happy, yes…but…even when I have a sad moment, like I had about an hour ago…I’m STILL ok with everything.  I’m content.  I like where my life is headed.  I see great things in my present, and great things in my future. 

Are we dreaming there are better days to come?  No…because they are here.  They are now. 

 

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