Its only been a month or so since my last blog post here, yet I feel like its been AGES since I’ve had anything of substance to post.
I’ve started and deleted posts a few times. Mostly because they were overwhelmingly negative. I was going through a rough time, and while things aren’t 100% better, I have a better outlook on things.
In my last post, I spoke a bit about body confidence, and self image. I wrote that I felt beautiful and proud of my body the last time I performed. I’m glad that I was able to experience that feeling, because right now, I’m going through an internal battle about my body.
Its not that I don’t think I’m beautiful. I do…kind of. But what I’m having a lot of trouble with is the fact that because I’m so overweight right now, my body hurts. Its a struggle for me to bend down, to go up stairs, even dancing can be pretty rough on me.
Over the last week, I’ve started watching my portion sizes again. I really don’t eat badly. Morgan is a great cook, and is conscious about what he makes for me. He knows I want to eat cleaner and healthier. I just have a bad habit of stuffing myself to the point of discomfort.
This week, I’ve started to eat more frequently, and smaller portions. I feel more awake during the day, and I am starting to have more energy.
I also have started going to the gym with a good friend. Just Monday, I did 2 miles on the elliptical, in 30 minutes. That’s HUGE for me. I burned 311 calories. In 30 minutes! That’s amazing.
I’m so sore today, but I’m anxiously awaiting 6:50pm when I meet my friend at the gym again. More elliptical. More abs. MORE!!!
The ultimate goal that I’ve set for myself is that I want to lose 37 pounds by September. In September, I’m going to start P90X again. I feel, knowing my own body and limitations, that I need to wait until I’m under 200 pounds. My joints and knees will NOT like me doing Plyometrics with all of this extra weight.
Once September hits, I will start my first 3 months of P90X. I can do this!
Now, I will not be following the P90X diet guide. The last 2 times I did this, when I increased my protein, my kidney started having problems. That’s way too much of a coincidence for my taste these days. So I will be having a high protein diet, but not overwhelming myself with it.
I’m excited to be in a place where I can take back my health. Being almost a whole year pain free is incredible. I honestly don’t know why I waited so long to start exercising again, and to eat better.
The important thing is, that the time is NOW. I’m going to be healthy. I’m 36 years old. If I want to be in this body for another 70+ years, I need to make sure that she’s running in top form!
I’m dancing more too, which will help with my stamina and my fitness level. A dear friend of mine and I are polishing a duet that we’ve been working on for 2 years off and on. I have 2 solo performances coming up in July. Things are picking up and looking up for me, here, and I’m very happy about it.