I am participating in an online book club with some friends. The book we are working through is: This is Woman’s Work: Calling forth your inner council of wise, brave, crazy, rebellious, loving, luminous selves by Dominique Christina.
The book walks you through exercises, and I felt compelled to blog the exercises, in the spirit of transparency. These exercises are not easy for me to work through, let alone post. But here we go. For details about the exercises, please refer to the book.
Shadow Woman Exercise in Balance:
Do you know me? The woman who moves as the moon moves? You haven’t seen me yet, although you may have caught a glimpse of me here or there…
Me, who moves gracefully and sensually.
The one who embodies the music, so it appears that her body is the instrument. The one with power in her hips, and her hair. The one with knowledge like a tree: deeply rooted, and stretching vast into the sky.
My hips orbiting, my torso undulating, creating power, controlling tides, waves, emotion.
I am here, waiting, in the dark. Dancing alone. Emitting joy. My body is strong. My spirit is soaring, making music. I dance in shadow, dreaming of the light. Dreaming of the day that my beauty will shine.
Shadow Woman Exercise Out of Balance:
I see my silencer. He looms over me, a dark void, an endlessly black figure. Darker than the darkest night, there is no light to him. He screams at me, breath foul and reeking of decay.
You can never afford this.
You can’t take classes: there’s no money. Think of your medical debts. Your car repairs. Your debts to your friends and family.
You’ll never pay them down.
You’ll never participate in the classes and workshops that you need to succeed. To be born.
Behind me, they slither. As dark as the void, but they whisper in my ear, endlessly the whispers:
You’re not as beautiful as the successful women.
You’re fat, and you’ll never lose the weight.
They’re better than you. They have more opportunites, because they are thin and beautiful.
You are fat and ugly.
You’ll never make it.
You’ll never realize your passion.